Kink nite on friday.  How nice to be snubbed by petty petty people and their mindless followers.  Why is it what people act like they've been all hard done by, but yet they are the ones who treated others like shit. 

Meh.  Nice dreads by the way.  We all laughed.  ohhhh I've been slighted.  Wow you really dont matter and there is not a thing you can do to me.  Let it go you child.

It has been pointed out to me that I shouldnt say cunt, but only because I tend to like pussy more than cunt.

No really, I prefer the word pussy to cunt.

So its almost 2.30 am and here I am thinking about gender idenity.  I have always been most attacted to people who blurred the lines.  The ones where they were so androgonys you couldn't always tell.  Take an ex of mine.  She was super femme, but put her in a pair of jeans and t-shirt she look liked a boy, a boy with big tits mind you but still a boy.  It was so hot for me.  Look at my husband, alot of people mistake him for a girl from behind.  I still like girls who look very girly, and boys who look manly, but its the ones in between who really get to me. 

I love being a woman.  Anyone who knows me know that I love my breasts, my hips, my cunt.  I love being a woman. Lately though I think about what it would be like to be a man, more like just look like one.  I dont want a penis, I dont want to be a real guy, I just want to dress like one.  Well not fully, but almost.  This past weekend I experimented a bit with that.  I did my hair kind of 40's style, wore a shirt that a girl or guy could wear, but opened it up so that I could show off clevage, then went with pin strip capri pants with my big boots.  It was my first try at mixing up the femme and butch.  Is butch even the word for it? doubtful.  I looked really good.  Got many compiments and such.  I felt good too.  Even been throwing around the idea that for Kink nite go for the pin strip suit, but just the pants and blazer.  Hair back, cleaveage out.

Just one more thing for me to think about I guess.

wheee fun with a web cam....

I cant decided if I want to to keep my hair short, or grow it out long again.  It looks good both ways. 

Yep, that is my major delima right now.  Ohhh what a life I lead.  *snicker*

Any thoughts?

This is recent, and one style

This is my hair down...

And this is my hair long, well longer...taken way back when....

Just got back from the neurologist.  He says that my brain lesion is likely NOT due to MS.  Going in for another MRI though, just to check things out.  He says im too young to acctualy have the lesion though so he is a bit confused.

Im just happy that I finaly got a good doctor who knows what he is talking about *GRIN*

Aaaaand now OMG I have a day off! I've been working 7 days a week, what with both jobs and my training.  I am sooooooo looking forward to it too! *SWEET* I can sleep in.

And in other news...

I got my ears guaged.  Right now they are at a 10guage, thats what they were pierced with.  And in about another 7-9 weeks I can go to a 8guage.  I am super excited.  Next piercing will be nipples for sure.  But next body mod will prolly be work on my tattoo.  Hopefuly I will have money for that sooooooon!

With my new job there seems to be the strong chance that I am going to get a promotion, and a raise after just 2 weeks! I rawk socks!

Thats it for now.

Happy Kitten Out

Saw Ms. D today, went great! I am so happy to see her again.  Then saw K.  That was fun.  We went for coffee, had a good talk.  I feel much better about how things are with him now.  He seems to be back with his ex, but isnt. ehhh.  All I know is that he is still attracted to me, and that just boots my ego.  *laughs* Ego aside I feel 100% times more confident now than I have in a long long long long time.  Back to training, and talked to Bondage Boy today too.  Look at what I can do in 3 days off!  hmmm whats next? Think I'll learn to fly :D

Just got home from being out with C.  Had a great time, saw Fat Albert.  Was acctualy funny.  Then we went for coffee, and we just talked.  I really like her, I like just talking to her and bouncing ideas around, and getting feedback on certain things.  I like her in a friend way, except a few people this time around are like "so is this a date? are you going out, do you *LOVE* her?" *laughs* we are both getting it from different people.  I am really gaining alot of respect for her.  She has a great mind, and I like to hear about her life.  I told her about some of my fears and she was understanding, and got it.  I haven't seen that alot lately.  I just enjoy her company alot.  In the way that I havent been able to makes friends this past while. 

Had a good day, got my hair done and had a job interview, both turned out well.  We'll see about the job.  And tomorrow I see Ms.D.  Im nervous, cause I feel like I have fucked some things up, and I really want to make them better again.  But tomorrow is tomorrow.

I just got back from getting my hair done, looks good, new colour *again* but when she styled it it was like *OMG I look like my mom*  I am at the same age as my mom when she had me.  I have short hair just like she did, and its kinda creepy.   All the more reason to find funky styles for it. 

Yesterday was a Yoga day for me, I am so freaking sore today, but its worth it.  I have droped 4-5 pant sizes and about 80lbs.  I feel so good about myself, and my body.  I have a new look going on, and new attitude. 

Tonight I am supposed to go out with C, I think she wants to see Fat Albert.  Ok, sounds neat, well see how that goes.

hmmmm need fooooood.  I am so freaking hungry today.  Must be me getting better - since I was sick I didnt want to eat and wasn't really hungry.

Wheres my freaking Maid?! ;)

Yep short hair now, hmmm just keeps getting shorter it seems

Many changes have been made lately, got rid of some old things and brought in some new.  Old roommate gone, due to some differences, dont want to get into it, past is past.  Laine and I have moved, lovely new place.  Our friend Val from Ontario has moved out here with us too.  Its nice to have her here, I know I've really missed some of the people we knew in london.  Shes like a ambasador *laughs* 

Some sad news, my grandpa was in the hospital for pneumonia, and kidney problems, they thought that was the end for him, then he got alright, but 3 days out of the hospital he had 3 heart attacks.  He went back in on the 24th.

So things with Laine getting worked out, had to stop lifestyle things for many reasons, health, and relationships being just two of those reasons.  Reall want to get back into it now, I feel ready, really really really ready, and able to work my schedule around it now too.

Going to go back to school, working on getting the money together and find out about classes.  This is what I want.

I feel alot more confident than I have in a long time.