As a side note, Evalee, if you read this, its not about you, not everything I write in here has to do with you and Neil or Brandi. As per my last post that wasnt *just* about you either, the wedding thing was, but not all of it, so mind your own business. If you arn't part of a realtionship dont make assumptions about it, and if you are not married then dont talk about someone else's marriage. I dont know how to classify everything right now, ups and down, people come and go, as per life. I wonder lately, last couple days in fact, if maybe I was just blind because I wanted it to work, that I didnt notice her problems because I wanted her to just be around and have that realtionship. Turns out I couldnt trust her, that she lied and hurt me in the end. But now she is getting help and that is good. She needs it. I think if the people who are important to her get some help too then maybe, just maybe things will work out in the end. I couldnt ever have a realationship with her again though, but I would be there as friends. If I could talk to her I would tell her, but after our last talk I dont think she will be calling me again. I think I am ok with that. I should have known from the begining that it wouldnt work out, that she wanted something that I was not available for. And when she talked about other relationships that she had not fully delt with I should have figured it out sooner and not continued with the whole thing. It dosent hurt anymore, and maybe we are better off not together. I will still miss her somedays, like I miss Kar, but that realationship wanst any better. Im glad that Laine is around to support me and talk to me about it all. Even though he was in Vancouver when this was going on I could still talk with him and he could still give me sane advice and support my decisions. I needed that more than anything. A clear head, a sane mind, and a good word or two. Made some great new friends. Met them while Laine was in Vancouver, talk to them every night almost. They are just what we need! New perspective, new ideas, new experinces. They do as they say, not say one thing and do another, no head games, no bull shit. And the friend experince is very lacking. We had them over last night for dinner, with Colleen as well who just got back from Virgina and seeing her hubby to be :D. Was a GREAT night. Laine made dinner and we just hung out and talked. R brough over some GBA and N64 games to play on a emulator on my computer, and they both made fudge that was made with Pinto Beans!!! It was AMAZING!!! I was the only person (other than RJ of course) that knew it :D everyone tried it and were really excited about how it tasted then we told them :D it was SOOOOOO good. Since J had to get up early for work, Colleen drove them home. Couldnt make it up to their place due to stupid buses :( but they will be doing Yoga with us next week, and we will get together after to finaly play Killer Bunnies!! Dani and I are getting our massage work going. Every sunday we will have a regular appointment with my piercer to go massage him and is apperntince. Its been a great experince and we have gotten some amazing experince out of it as well. Any money we make we have started to put it towards going to our Yoga classes. Got a new piercing too :D 4 of us from class went to get new piercings, S and I got the same thing but its a secret. LA got her lip done, and Dani got her navel and nose done. LA got a purple ring, she was so happy that she could get a purple one :D and Dani got a blue nose stud and a navel barbell with blue stones in them. Shes been having a hard time with her family lately so this really helped her out. Next month is going to be great too. Cutting my hours at work back so I have more free time and more study time as well. Going to see RHCP, more tattoo work on my leg, and two more tattoos on each of my foot :D Dani's birthday (same day at feet tattoos!!) and one month to my birthday *YIPPIE* Im going to go cuddle up to my hubby now, and get some sleep before my OP tomorrow. Should be NO problem :D I look forward to it :D
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